How to Have Your First Successful Partnership & End Toxic Relationship Patterns

February 21, 2024

Tired of falling into the same negative cycles with your relationships? Maybe you see other relationships and ask yourself - why are those people having such a great relationship?

Whether you are currently in a relationship and want to improve it, or single and looking for love, you are not alone.

Everyone on the planet is dealing with relationships – some are toxic relationships which lead to feelings of sadness, hurt, betrayal, and anxiety, rejection, and issues of infidelity.

So, what have you tried before to fix your relationships? Chances are, if you are reading this, that other stuff you’ve tried has not worked.

Relationships are the foundation of life. Good, “worth-it” relationships require work, work on yourself and work on the relationship.

What I have seen in my therapy practice is that when clients are committed to working on themselves to be a better person, they change their life and their relationships for the better.

The more committed you are to working on yourself, the better person you become. And the better person you become, the better person you attract when you are ready. The people you bring into your life will be equal to the personal growth and learning that you have done and continue to do. Change yourself, change your relationship with others and with the world around you.

This work takes an investment of your time and money, and a willingness to learn new ways of communicating and being. And it’s worth it.

What makes a relationship worth the efforts?

Love – it’s important to know yourself to know what love is to you.

There are as many different love stories as there are people on the planet. What is your ideal love relationship?

Imagine having this “master of a relationship” in your life. People work for and deserve a great relationship.

What does a successful relationship look like, feel like to you?

What makes for a relationship that you are comfortable with, no matter where you are in your life?

Ask yourself, can that other person go with you where you are going?

  1. What we focus on will bring about what we experience in life and love. So…
  • When we are in pain – physical, emotional, and/or mental, it can be difficult to move into what we want.
  • There is a fine line between living in pain, and considering what has happened and what there is to learn in the current situation
  • What do you want in a relationship?
  • Who do you want to be in the relationship?
  • Having a neutral professional for guidance and direction gives you an opportunity to discover what feeds you and what works for you.

Here’s how to lay the groundwork for a healthy relationship. This includes the relationship you have with yourself.

To create your first successful relationship:
  1. Consider, what does not work for you. We all know what we don’t like in a relationship.
  2. Flip these issues that you do not want, and you will realize what you do want.
  3. Invest in yourself and your well-being. Talk with a professional therapist who is non-biased, non-judgmental, and experienced in relationship therapy.
  4. Do the work. Investing in yourself is worth it, and the benefit of that is that no one can take that away from you.

Gaining a perspective of relational patterns helps people decide whether to end the current relationship or to grow within the relationship.

These patterns took a while to establish, and they deserve some looking into so that you can be aware of them and move on to better patterns.

What people say about therapy with Dr. Melissa

People who are partnered and have worked with Dr. Melissa say that their spouses notice a positive change after the first few sessions.

Single people tell me they

  • heal from their past,
  • learn about themselves, and
  • move forward with ease and grace towards a successful relationship.

Single or partnered people say that they are dealing with family relationships in a calmer manner, setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, sleeping better, realizing the strengths and qualities they have that contribute to the healing and growth of the relationship.

Let’s get you headed in a better life direction, one that fits you and your needs and desires.

You owe it to yourself,

Dr. Melissa Valentina


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